Resolutions revisited

I’ve been thinking about something recently, and I want to write about it.

Do you remember the new year’s resolutions I wrote?  I’m going to list them here again, and talk about what is it to be improve the self.

1. Lose weight (and workout more).  Only work out when I can make time, and just try to be healthy. 
2. No more wasting money on clothes (which don’t fit me that well).  Be smarter about clothes. I don’t need many, but it’s okay to buy clothes that are appropriate and comfortable.
3. Study more. Just a bit more.
4. Go out less. (it’s not like I go out a lot, and it’s not like I’m missing anything out there).
5. Reduce the number of my friends. Not all of them are worth it (no worries, my friends don’t really read my blog).
6. Travel. Really, even when I have no one to travel with. It’s okay not to be able to travel when because I can’t. Can’t force myself to travel when I don’t have money, time or the right companionship. I can always travel in the future, but can’t force myself to travel for the sake of travelling (and then show off on the social network)
7. Don’t date. At all. Unless they prove their worth. The right person will come up when you’re least expecting. In the meantime, I have other stuff to worry about. 
8. Write more in this blog.

Ever since the beginning of this year, I’ve been trying to work on myself. Essentially on my personality and attitude.

  1. I want to be kinder.  Not chocolate Kinder. I want to be a kind person. I want to be nice and helpful. When I can, and when I’m at the right place, I want to help.
  2. I want to be patient.  Patience is a luxury, and yes, sometimes we don’t have everything under control, and sometimes we can be anxious and paranoid. But there’s still an inner poise we can still focus on. And patience makes us feel relaxed and content I suppose.
  3. I want to know myself better. I started doing that many years ago by writing down my feelings, and I also tend to speak to myself when I’m alone. And it helps. It helps let obnoxious feelings out, and it helps understand where they might come from. Exploring feelings helps exploring the self. I try not to let things in, at least not with myself.




Palm Sunday – Jerusalem 1931

Palm Sunday is in another two weeks, and I just found this on Facebook (reposted by my dad). We’re not a family of great believers, but we do believe that we, Arabs (Christians and Muslims) lived in Palestine before the Occupation in 1948.

This footage is considered rare, though it may not be as accurate. But looking at the fashion, and looking at the people and the land, it did take place in Palestine before 1948.

The branches they’re holding are Palm branches, the same ones people were holding to welcome Jesus Christ to the city of Jerusalem on that Sunday.


Today is the International Women’s day. And for some reason, I don’t like making a huge deal out of this day. Perhaps because I’m fed up with all of the women empowerment posts on the social media, and all of the cliched statements that are recently made.

You can go around, and feel like “Oh yeah! look at me! I’m a woman of free will, and I wanna do things my way. I’m powerful and independent etc.”

Okay. Great. Women should have their own free will, and should do things their way. But for some reason I’m sick of all these encouragements and social media posts. Most of the time I feel that they are pretentious and even meaningless.

My Facebook feed is jammed with posts by everyone, including men and women, all repeating the same cliched bullshit about women empowerment.

This day became a day to show off your thoughts about feminism. And if that is the case, I would like to take an opportunity to really state why we still need feminism. But not necessarily celebrate this specific day.

  1. Though she can’t see it, my mom still treats me differently than my brothers.
  2. Men still think they can sexually harass me in the streets
  3. No matter what I do, people still think that I don’t have my life together because I don’t have a husband.
  4. Women in my home town are still marrying young, not pursuing a proper education, and they become slaves to their husband, children and society.
  5. Women in my home town are still being abused by their husbands. And take the blame.
  6. The only good wishes you hear from people are: 3o2bal tsere 3aroos o nefra7 feke (till you become a bride and we’ll be happy for you/because of you)
  7. Men thinking that feminism is overrated.
  8. Men calling you too picky and stubborn for not picking them to be their sexual slave.
  9. Men thinking that the only way you can be a free open-minded woman is by opening your legs to them.
  10. People making you feel less of yourself because you’re not married. They treat you like a child, even if you’re older.
  11. Having to prove yourself to other females in terms of education, career, marriage, and beauty (?)
  12. Other skinny women blaming you for being fatter and not caring about your nutrition.
  13. Not finding any stores that sell your size, because you’re: tall, fat, short, etc.
  14. We need feminism because of … the Middle East goes backwards.
  15. We need feminism because there are still religions in the world.
  16. We need feminism because I’m sick of people writing all this bullshit on this day specifically, because you need a day to tell other females to be strong.

Actually, you need a day to tell women to be wonder women. But in fact, Wonder Woman is not a good example of strong women who should just be themselves. And the movie was horrible.


Anyway, I rambled a lot. So, enjoy your day and feel powerful. And don’t forget that any act you enjoy doing is one step to getting over the world. In some sense.


Bullshit motivational quotes #1


So I found this on Facebook the other day, and I thought of sharing. Not because I find it inspiring, but I rather think it’s bullshit.

Motivational quotes nowadays are getting out of hand, and started becoming irrelevant to our daily activities and our personalities.

I do many things during the day, and I have to make decisions every year that scare me. But why would I force myself into doing one thing every single day that scares me?

Should I watch a stupid horror movie every now and then? I personally find them repulsive and waste of time.

Should I go and walk in an abandoned ally every now and then? and risk getting mugged, raped or murdered? Why would I do that? I don’t think I want to be that stupid.

Should I go and do skydiving? I know it’s something I might want to do some day, but why force myself into doing it now?


I would rather say instead:

Do one thing every day (or every other day) that you want to do.

That’s all, so simple.

My home town, not my homeland

I should be entirely ashamed of my feelings. I should repent the way I feel.

I was driving back to the my home town, to see my family. I do that every other weekend.

The minute I entered my hometown, instead of feeling nostalgic I felt alienated. I cursed my home town.

I cursed my home town.

Kos o5tek yaft ‘lnsari.

I cursed my home town.

I hate you.

I hate everything here.

(Except my family,

and my childhood memories.)

My home town…

Where people spy on each other.

Where people talk shit about each other.

Where people kill each other… over money and honor.

My home town…

where people are extremely religious, and live back in the 15th century.

And where girls, my age, younger and older, look the fucking same.

Same hair, same jeans, same t-shirt.

And I look hideous in my sweats and my Amsterdam t-shirt.

With my untamed hair, and brain.

I flew outside of the city to find another place in which I can feel comfortably alienated.


March 3, 2018

Rebloggoed: 50 Gentle Reminders For When You Feel Like You’re Going To Die Alone

Unsplash / Mikail Duran1. You might not have a boyfriend, but you are already loved — by family, by friends, by pets, by the universe. 2. There is more to this world than whether you have a ring on your finger. 3. Your relationship status does not define you as a person, your heart does. 4. Half of the…

via 50 Gentle Reminders For When You Feel Like You’re Going To Die Alone — Thought Catalog

Constant race

We live in a constant race.

Race with time, people, life, achievements and and self improvement.


Why can’t we just relax, and think about happiness for one moment?

Happiness is also a race.

Who’s happier?

Who’s living their lives to the fullest?

Who travels more?

Who parties more?

Who attends all of the events in town?

who’s more successful?

Who has higher degrees?

Who’s nicer?

Who’s prettier?

Who’s skinnier?

Who’s more happily married?

Who’s more loved?

Who’s happier?

Even when I decide to run away from this race and be content with what I have, I find myself getting outside for one bit and feel like I’m going back to the game. The game is life, and it includes this race.

I feel that no matter what I do with myself, and no matter how I content I can be, I always find someone, or a situation that makes me feel less about myself.

This world of Facebook and Instagram makes us feel that we need to show what we have, and majestify it. We have to show the whole world that we are out there, alive and lucky.

Otherwise, we’re just letting others show their exquisite life.

We live in a constant race: who’s life is better!

Windows and Balconies

Pictures of the Streets of Barcelona – 2016

“Windows and Balconies”

Barcelona and its fascinating architecture.

See this post on my Instagram – arwa13b

(N)Ever Have I Ever

So apparently we live in w a world that wants us to dare do as many things as possible.

I found this post on some Facebook group, and apparently the fewer points you get the cooler you are. Because everything on the list is adventurous activities you must be proud to “Have ever” done them.


Everything becomes a competition, and to be able to present yourself to the world as an interesting, sophisticated, adventurous person you have to do many things you wouldn’t do if you were a normal person, or you’d have a normal living situations.

Looking at the above picture, I find myself wondering: What if I can’t give birth? Can I still be a daring person? What if I’m not rich, and I can’t go on a cruise trip?

Do I really have to do many things to prove myself as a daring person who likes going on adventures? What if I find the life I’m living an adventure? What if I don’t want to go scuba diving or skydiving? What if I don’t like tattoos? or weird piercings? why do I need to do daring things to be a daring person?

And when it comes to accomplishments, why do I need to be a person who keeps accomplishing things? isn’t my life an accomplishment by itself? Shouldn’t I be satisfied with whatever I have now?

I hear people saying constantly that they love trying and accomplishing new things every day, but isn’t that tiring? to never have the ability to be satisfied with what you have for a bit, and then when you’re quite at your leisure, you can try new thing?

January deaths

New year began, with January. New year’s resolution we want to begin with, but there’s no time. Maybe after we finish our current assignments we can hit the gym to work out more. And after finishing some papers and exams, we can read more books we wanted to read a while ago.

There’s no time to start working on our new year’s resolution. There’s no time to start working on our new selves.

And there’s no time to say Goodbye to the dead.

January started with many posts of death announcements on the social network. I check my Facebook every day to find it flooded with death announcements. Many has died: old, and young.

January is still not over, and this month I saw around five death announcements of people I know.

“My condolences.” and “Sorry for your loss.” is now a mantra.

Has it been like that for a while? for January to bring deaths? and people  to wait until after the holidays to die?

Why is it that January has to come with death?

Why does the beginning of the year must bring many ends?

Why is January the month of depression and grief?

I’m anxious.


A poem I wrote few years ago:
Goodbye January
“Frigid January,
the month of death,
Why could not you resurrect?”

Morning rain

It’s six thirty in the morning. I woke up. I don’t wake up that early, but I’m happy I can get out of bed at that hour. I hear the rain falling down so heavily.

It’s a bit chilly. I wake up and look at my window near my bed. It’s all foggy.

It’s the perfect time for a cup of coffee. I enjoy every sip and every drop of rain.

It rarely rains. It rarely rains when I’m at my cozy home, having the chance to sit cozily with my cup of coffee.

It’s comfortable. It’s safe. It’s a bran new day – filled with new opportunities.

From my window – Haifa Nov 22, 2017

New name, new address, new home

I decided to change the address of my blog. From to (Yes, it’s the first time I’m using and paying for another plan on

I’ve been blogging on WordPress for more than ten years, and I’m the most satisfied with this platform. It provides easy blogging, and the blogs/sites look professional and modern. I always enjoy using WordPress and like to explore every feature it provides.

Last month I made a decision that I’m going to upgrade my account to the paid personal plan. My weblog is personal, and I don’t think it should change. I share my personal experience, thoughts and writing. I wanted to boost my blog and give it a more fancy address which includes a domain.

I spent a month thinking about a new domain for the website. And I knew I couldn’t be creative enough to come up with a very unique and creative name, so I looked at titles of my favorite old songs. And it wasn’t easy, and it was nearly impossible to find something that would look like a name of a blog, until I decided that the name Strawberry Fields would sound so poetic and simple at the same time.


Strawberry Fields Forever is a song by one of my favorite all time musical bands in the whole world, and maybe I shouldn’t have used it as a title of my blog, but I feel that my blog itself is a fields of Strawberry.

Living is easy with eyes closed
Misunderstanding all you see
It’s getting hard to be someone
But it all works out